Redefining the term “LOL”
New to thedinosaurboy.com? Enjoy these quotes lifted from Bridger’s posts over the years:
“I’m thinking about Wal-Mart, about how they don’t close at dark time like other stores. Why do other stores have to close? I don’t know what to think about that.” (July 10, 2006)
“I found a praying mantis that was killed already. I got a stick and ripped it to shreds because praying mantis is a bad bug. A praying mantis bit my dadda once. That’s why I ripped it to shreds. Except I think maybe it was a katydid, not a praying mantis. Hmm..that would not be good.” (July 28, 2006)
“Dadda always wants to talk to momma on the phone when he’s at work. He says it’s because momma is his friend. I told him that momma isn’t his friend, she’s his wife.” (July 31, 2006)
“Whenever we go to the D.I. I get a dinosaur there. But only one. Sometimes when there are other dinosaurs there I put them all somewhere safe so other children won’t get them. Do you know why I do that? Because there’s hard dinosaurs that I really need and if somebody else takes them then I can’t get them. If there are children that want dinosaurs, maybe they can go to another store like Wal-Mart or K-Mart or Kohls.” (August 1, 2006)
“I used to think Dadda was in charge of Momma. Like if I’m hungry, if Dadda tells Momma to make my dinner than she makes my dinner. But Dadda had a talk with me and now I know that Momma is in charge of Dadda and in charge of us.” (August 3, 2006)
“A manatee is a big creature that eats salad. I think it would be cool if a manatee fighted a shark, but manatees are too nice to fight and the shark would probably rip him to shreds.” (August 8, 2006)
“Noah was an angel. Grace taught me that when I was three years old. He gathered a lot of goats and 10,000 chickens and put them in the ark. The ark was his trailer and he took them to a farm.” (August 14, 2006)
“When momma isn’t somewhere where we are, we do stuff, like get things and open stuff by ourself. If I want some popcorn I make popcorn. Or a peanut butter sandwich. And I can open string cheese. But still momma knows what I do when I’m not by her because she’s a momma and she knows those things. But there is two things momma doesn’t know: why Jesus made mosquitos have sharp noses and if a lion could kill a bear.” (August 16, 2006)
“I have a Land Before Time game that the Kids put on momma’s computer, but it’s broke. It just made a blue screen with thousands of words. Momma says that’s bad.” (August 26, 2006)
“I look for money because it’s faster to find money than to earn it. Earning moneys makes me do lots of work and jobs. Working hard is a good thing, but finding money is even better.” (September 8, 2006)
“Dadda keeps telling me he didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. He must be joking because falling off a turnip truck doesn’t make you smart or dumb. Falling off a turnip truck just makes you hurt. Maybe they should put higher walls on turnip trucks so people don’t fall off them so much.” (September 13, 2006)
“If dinosaurs were here today I could be with them and they wouldn’t eat me. I could talk to them quietly and they would still hear me. If I called them they would come to me. Because they know I love them.” (September 19, 2006)
“Why do momma’s take so long in stores? Sometimes we go in the store with momma but sometimes we stay in the car with dadda. Lots of times dadda just doesn’t want to go in stores. I don’t like to go in boring stores but I do like to go in good stores like Wal-Mart and D.I. Sometimes dadda lets coulter drive the car around the parking lot when momma is in the store.” (October 6, 2006)
“Did you know Jesus drives the moon? If you look in the sky when it’s dark time, the moon will follow you. The moon even follows me when we drive in the car at night. That means Jesus is watching over me.” (October 13, 2006)
“Weston swallowed a penny today. When you swallow something it goes into your tummy. That penny is still in his tummy. So is momma’s wedding ring. He swallowed the ring a long time ago and it never came out. He almost swallowed my big dinosaur money too. Why does Weston do this?” (November 5, 2006)
“I don’t hunt because I’m not a dinosaur. Momma and dadda just make my food. I will start making my own food when I am 43.” (November 15, 2006)
“I wish I could go back in time and make a big shield so the dinosaurs wouldn’t die. Then they could still be alive and live in the jungle. Then I could see them and pet them. I would have to wash my hands after I pet them because they would have a lot of germs from being in the jungle so long.” (December 9, 2006)
“Dadda tried to get me to eat a black-eyed pea today at the Golden Corral. I told him I was so not going to eat that black eyed pea. He said he would eat a mushroom if I ate a black-eyed pea. I told him I didn’t want him to eat a mushroom because some are poison and I don’t know where Golden Corral gets their mushrooms.” (January 15, 2007)
“I really don’t like the toilets at Disney World. They’re called smart toilets. I think they’re supposed to flush when you get off them, but if you don’t get done in time they just flush when you’re still on them. Or if you are standing by one of those toilets it will just flush by itself. I think those smart toilets aren’t so smart.” (February 4, 2007)
“It’s party night and do you know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking it’s tough to find good valentines these days. They’re either girly or just super heroes.” (February 16, 2006)
“It was Tammy’s birthday and she turned 95. That is very old. Soon she will just sit in her chair with her cane and watch children play. ” (March 18, 2007)
“Jesus was a tough guy who lived in Jerusalem. That’s in Asia. He had long hair because there wasn’t electricity back in time. There was no wires running back and forth with electricity to run those haircutting things.” (March 25, 2007)
“Do you know what I just thought of? A good way to get your water is Easy Mac. I love Easy Mac so much. I eat it every single day. It has water in it. Then mumma puts a piece of ice in there to cool it off. That’s even more water. So Easy Mac is definately a great way to get some water.” (April, 2007)
“I learned in school how to count to 100. It’s kinda tough, but I can do it. I can actually count to 113. But I figured out a way to count to 100 that’s easy and anybody can do it……you just start at 90.” (May 28, 2007)
“There is this commercial with a sun that runs on the excercise thing and the sun says “I’m going to go work my abs.” I wonder what working your abs means. But you know what’s wierd? I went on the other channel and that same commercial was on! Can a commercial be on two channels at the same time?” (July 24, 2007)
“Dadda says he wishes he had a cool acting class when he was a little kid, but that would be impossible. They didn’t even have cars back then. Just wheel wagons. And there wasn’t roads, just dirt paths. Dadda is pretty old.” (September 20, 2007)
“I love boats but I don’t want to be a sailor when I grow up. I want to be a paleontologist and a biologist, and all of the -ologies.
“But if I don’t do that I think I’d like to pick apples in an orchard. I love to hear the “snap” when you pull it off the branch.” (October 8, 2007)
“If Tiff was a dinosaur she would be one that’s kind and gentle. But it would be hard to find a kind and gentle dinosaur. Even the plant eaters aren’t that gentle. But she could maybe be a brachiosaur because they call that dinosaur “the Gentle Giant.” But the problem with that is Tiff isn’t a giant.” (October 14, 2007)
“I noticed that the smaller something is, the lower price it is. Like a dinosaur. A big dinosaur at Wal-Mart is way, way more expensive than a teeny tiny one. It’s kind of like a big Butterfinger is much more expensive than a tiny one.” (November 29, 2007)
“Do you know what I’m doing for my new year goal? I’m going to teach all my pets some tricks. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll teach Goffy and Ziggy some tricks, then the frog and lizards and the piranha. I think the toughest one to teach will be the piranha. I’ll have to have Dadda help me with him.” (December 31, 2007)
“McCall is kind of scaring me lately. She keeps kissing me on the cheek. That kind of scares me because kissing is a girly thing. I had to kiss a girl when I was Prince Charming in my preschool program, but I didn’t want to. That was just my part in the play. It worries me that McCall is kissing me.” (January 25, 2008)
“Ichthyosaurs are happy dinos, but they can sometimes get grumpy. I’d like to make a pool in our back yard and get about 10 ichthyosaurs to put in there. Then they can have babies, but that would make them more grumpy if you try to touch them- cause you don’t mess with an ichthyosaur’s babies.” (February 19, 2008)
“There’s this song we sing in acting class called “Harmony” that says we should celebrate our differences. The thing is we’ve been different for thousands of years. It’s not like we just found out we’re all different yesterday. We’ve known it forever. So why should we start celebrating it now? Seems like kind of a silly thing to throw a party about.” (March 2, 2008)
“Do you know what’s funny about Sprite? It makes me burp accidentally, and when I accidentally burp, some strange smoke blows out my nose that smells and tastes like Sprite. Weird, huh?” (October 1, 2008)
Those were so much fun to read! It looked like a long list and I wasn’t going to read them all, but each one was so unique I had to read one more.
Thanks Clint for posting them, and thank you Bridger for thinking them. 🙂
[…] Deep Thoughts […]
Those are some hilarious thoughts!
Certainly made my day 🙂